Purpose, Positive Plans, Patience, and Support from Friends

Aloha!  So the story continues and I am now into March 2019.  The first 6/7 months after the accident had been busy with appointments etc and I had my boost from the Oxygen Therapy in January and February.  Looking back, I think the reality of the situation was slowly starting to dawn on me as things were settling down.   My physical recovery was going well but I was having real challenges with the psychological side of things.  I don’t think we really realise how much a job gives us beyond an income until its gone.  Human interaction, friends and routine are all important and if we are lucky, something with purpose where we make a positive difference to the society/community we live in.  All-important facets of a contented life.    I guess we have all suffered this to some extent with the pandemic, but in my case the job was gone too.  I would have taken an online version at this point in a heartbeat.  Although my brain would probably have not been compliant!!!   I was feeling very adrift and purposeless at this point. So, when you are having a bad day at work be very careful what you wish for.   

I was back swim coaching at the triathlon club which was good, but I was finding the communication and confidence bit very challenging as the brain was recovering.  I had to really concentrate on the athletes in my lane and avoid distraction.  Very good advice to any coach to be fair.  I’ve always been determined though, and it was helping my recovery as the brain cells were stretched and rebuilt.   I do hope my coaching helped the athletes!!    

Lots of friends and the kids were keeping in touch and we were getting together periodically.  These meetings when you spend so much on your own were really important to the recovery.  I will be forever grateful to the people that took the time to catch up for a coffee. 

Around the same time, I started to see a Neuro Psychologist in the NHS and Shona was fabulous.  Another in a long list of saviours.  A few things that she talked about have really stuck with me and she helped me gain perspective and reframe many situations in the ongoing battle I have with my overthinking brain.   

·      The point in a previous blog about trusting experts and trying what they suggest 

·      Making sure if you are doing any activity, you are having fun 

·      Being patient.  With yourself and others

·      Feeling depressed won’t last and trusting that things will get better.  

·      Planning things and having fun things in the diary. 

To name but a few. 

The last piece of advice led me to organising a trip to Mallorca with my friend Alan for a cycling holiday. (Well, he organised it! He is an expert organiser to be fair.  I just had to turn up) He had been generously taking me to his gym once a month and we had discussed the holiday as we recovered in the sauna.  This spurred me on to get back on my bike so I had a few runs out in late April to make sure I would be fit enough for Mallorca.  Not sure my Mum was so happy with me getting back on a bike, but she was supportive none the less.  I won’t say it enough, but my Mum has been incredible through this whole experience.  She lets me bend her ear, moan, provides council and generally is just always there for me.  Love her to bits :)    

I was getting more active generally, as the weather improved with a few munros completed with friends James, Kate and Alan, a couple of Munro’s myself and a Corbett near Aviemore with the kids. All good fun and amazing to spend time outdoors with friends and my wee (in saying that not very wee anymore) special people  I will also say I didn’t go straight to Munro’s! I walked up Fyrish with Gee and Erin, climbed a Graham (a hill over 2000ft) near Drumnadrochit, and the aforementioned Corbett (a hill over 2,500ft) Meall a' Bhuachaille near Aviemore.  

The DVLA had returned my licence after communication with one of my consultants.  I had had no seizures since the accident so all good.  I had to build up my strength and manage my fatigue when I drove, but it was so good to get my independence back.  

An old colleague from HIE in Shetland, David Priest had moved to Inverness.  He has a keen interest in football, and we went to a couple of Ross County games.   Life, minus the work bit, was definitely starting to settle down and a new “normal” take shape. 

And the biggest news of all around this time was that Hannah had decided to leave school in 6th year and travel to Australia to work and see my brother and her cousins.  She spent a few months in Western Australia (WA) working and then her Mum met up with her in Bali for her 18th birthday. An amazing trip and experience! My wee baby was getting all grown up.  Brilliant to see her have the confidence to travel and explore a part of the world   

May started with the amazing holiday in Mallorca with Alan.  I had settled into in a routine of sorts with physio, massage, counselling, neuro psychology support and occupational health support from Siobhan and Elaine (who coincidentally had been part of my rehab team in the early days at Raigmore). It was good to get away for some sunshine though.   

Alan drove to Edinburgh; we flew from there and hired a car in Mallorca and then hired bikes in Mallorca.  Accommodation was all inclusive, in Port de Pollenca and they had lock ups for the bikes overnight.  It did the business for our week there.  We cycled between 25 and 40 miles most days, relaxed by the pool, had a few beers in the town and chilled out in the sun and warmth.  And visited Sa Colabra, Cap Formentor and Luic.  Some on the bike, some in the car ;) the A special island and very welcoming to cyclists  I can’t thank Alan enough for organising it all.  Like a true man from the North East he still took my cash off me though!  Haha Only joking.  It was tremendous trip and helped me realise I still had a life out there to live.  

There was lots going on and as part of the Civil action, money has to be allocated for any rehabilitation not provided by the NHS.  Through this process you are allocated a case manager who in my case was a former occupational therapist.  Rachel helped me work out a plan for my cognitive and physical recovery.  And what would be useful to support the plan.  I did a 2-day bike maintenance course at Glenmore Lodge in Aviemore which was brilliant.  An area of interest to me given my constant use of MTBs and Road Bikes.  It was good to see how far my brain had recovered and encourage interaction with the other participants on the course to build up my self-confidence.  And I passed, which is always nice

I then did another course at Glenmore Lodge and attended a conference later in the year as I continued my cognitive recovery. More on that later.  I was able to access yoga in town at Soul Seeker yoga, private physio from Jenny and massage from Claire which all helped my recovering fitness and strength.  Primarily my broken back and neck, I guess!   And I was able to purchase a turbo trainer to keep me mostly off the roads for cycling rehab.  I didn’t realise how handy that was going to be about a year on! 

I supported my friend Pete, who was supporting our friend Graeme to complete Celtman.  Celtman is an extreme Iron Man distance triathlon which is based around the Torridon area and finishes with a mountain marathon over 2 munros!  Fairly extreme, and prior to the accident I had entered the ballot for the race.  It’s an amazing spectacle and driving round in the car feeding Graeme (well watching Pete feeding and motivating Graeme) as he finished 4th was brilliant.  Graeme himself has come back from a really bad accident when he was younger, so more motivation to see what is possible if you do the hard work in any situation and keep going! Martin and Darren were involved in the race too so we were able to cheer them on too.

Noel Gallagher visited Inverness with his High-Flying Birds in June. I took Andrew who thankfully has an excellent taste in Music along and we had a fabulous time.  I had seen Noel twice before. On this occasion, he played 8 Oasis songs at the end of his set.  Another in what was becoming a long list of moments I was so grateful to be around to see :)

And an old school friend Bob popped into Inverness before and after he and his friends did the North Coast 500 on their motorbikes. Good fun and good to catch up with them. 

 I had my birthday on the 19th of June, and it coincided with the kids’ prize giving at Dingwall academy.  An extremely proud moment for me as Aimee and Andrew both picked up prizes in their year with Aimee only just missing out on top girl.  Amazing!  Hannah had come back from Oz and was now old enough to come back to Inverness with me for a birthday drink in the Black Isle bar and to stay over.  More amazing positive memories that I’m glad to say I’m around for.

Later in June on the anniversary of the accident Pete, Gee, Erin, Archie (the pooch) and I decided to climb our local Munro Ben Wyvis ( Picture at the top of the blog) I had discussed it with Shona and her feeling was it would be a better way to spend the anniversary of my accident rather than dwelling on it.  And guess what…not surprisingly given this is her area of expertise she was right :) We had a great hike up and Pete being the usual crazy man that that he is was storming ahead with Erin on his back!! I should point out that I was still in recovery and Gee was 3 or 4 months pregnant.  Oh, and Pete had won! yes won the Highland Cross the week before.  But that’s Pete.  A tad fit!  It was a great way to spend the day and another reminder that there were positive things to come in the future.  I had to remain patient and focus on my recovery. And keep the remembering the journey I was on and where I had come from.  

Andrew had started his new season on the MTB and was flying.  He was winning most of the races he was entering.  Dad was still down on one of his trips to keep Ethan company, so I took him to see Andrew race in Fort William.  It was a great day out with Andrew winning and more amazingly for those of you that know Fort William, the sun was splitting the sky!! A memorable day for all sorts of reasons. And I managed the drive no problem with breaks where required. Another plus. 

June finished with a trip to see The Orb at the Iron Works and a BBQ at Ewan’s for his birthday. Good times :)

So, on the back of some stark realisations about the situation I had found myself in, this phase of the rehab journey was helping me learn a few key life lessons.   

Having a purpose is critical to a happy and content life.  Make sure you have fun in whatever you are doing. Have fun and exciting things planned with people you care about.   Listen to experts and at the very least try what they are suggesting to recover. Be patient with yourself and others.  Never underestimate how important it is to have a close circle of great friends.  Have epic relationships with your kids, they are your greatest friends, allies and supporters. Love you all kiddos :)))

Till next time stay positive :)