First few months after intensive care
I was slowly recovering and was moved from the ICU into the rehab ward for a few weeks. I can vaguely remember coming around and one of the doctors told me I may not walk again and be in the wheelchair for the rest of my life. I can just remember thinking, that’s not happening! I think I had dragged myself up to shuffle to the toilet under my own steam that very day, much to horror of the nurses on the ward (all be it very slowly and with supervision). I was quite determined from the start. I had continued support from the Occupational Health (OH) team with Elaine and Paula helping me with movement, physio and basic exercises to start to regain mobility. I was committed to regaining movement and followed their advice. I had another very surreal experience before I left Raigmore. On Mum and Kirsty’s suggestion, I went back to ICU to thank all the nurses for the great work they had done on me. I could barely remember being in ICU, but it clearly meant a lot to the amazing team there given the emotional reaction, and I cannot stress enough how much gratitude I have for what they did for me. During my stay in hospital I had a lot of visitors including Pete and Gee, Ewan, Martin, Fletch, Alan, Dougie (an old Uni friend), Claire (my masseuse), Paddy ( another old Uni mate) and a lovely lunch out with my Auntie Deborah and Uncle Maurice who were down in the Highlands on holiday. I’m sure there were more, and apologies if I missed you off the list, but the brain wasn’t quite operating as normal.
I was discharged from Raigmore a few weeks later on the 28th August when I could finally swallow again and drink tea and coffee after the tracheotomy had healed. I had so looked forward to being able to eat real food again only to discover I’d lost my taste and smell as part of the brain injury! It’s still not back, but I have the complete belief the brain is developing new neural pathways to enable full operation of taste and smell to return. Lots of fingers crossed.
At this time, I secured the law firm Digby Brown to pursue a civil case against the van driver who hit me (he was subsequently convicted in September 2019). The contact was made through my friend Darren, and I met them with Mum to explore the process as she was still acting as my power of attorney due to the brain injury. I met them again on my return from Shetland to sign various documents and get the process started formally. I had headed back to Shetland with Mum and Dad for 2 weeks. The journey to Shetland was an interesting experience for my back. I was ok on the first leg to Orkney and then in agony the rest of the way to Shetland. I was on maximum ibuprofen and paracetamol every day but thankfully nothing stronger. I can vaguely remember being on stronger painkillers in hospital and they sent me doolally! The ibuprofen and paracetamol must have run out on the second leg of the journey, but it was good to be home. Looking back, it is all very hazy, but I cannot thank all the nurses and staff at Raigmore and Aberdeen enough for the amazing work they did to put me back together and support my initial rehabilitation.
I caught up with friends and family in Shetland and Kirsty joined me with Coire, (her Collie) for the second week which we spent in Unst. And we managed a (very slow) hike to Hermaness among other things. I was managing a few wee trips back in the Highlands including to Laggan to watch Andrew win the Highland Hardline Downhill series which was a great day! And also down to see Kirsty in Aviemore by bus and train as I still wasn’t allowed to drive. It was still challenging getting about, but I was determined to move about as much as I could under my own steam and build my fitness back up. My flat had been assessed as safe for me to get about in by the NHS occupational team prior to my discharge. Although the look on Paulas face when she checked out he spiral staircase to my loft conversion will stay with me for a long time!! I lived on my own, so they had to check I’d be ok. Dad, also put in a handle to help me get safely out of the shower that was over the bath. Me, being me, I think I’ve only used it a few times as I wanted to prove to myself, I would be fine. Thankfully no falls yet! But thanks Dad for your amazing help on the DIY front. Due to the brain injury I couldn’t drive so was utilising public transport to get about when I couldn’t get a lift. Around this time, I started to go to gym with my friend Ewan and get back on an exercise bike. A bit safer than the road! And other friends Pete and Gee encouraged me to get back in the pool as it would be a good way to regain some fitness. I was also going to Yoga once a week with another friend Martin. All of these activities were great for the physical recovery. They were also good for my mental benefit to get me out of the house and engaging with other humans as my brain was beginning to heal. I was also starting to get back on my mountain bike with Ewan, Pete and another friend Darren. This included wee trips to Daviot and around the canal in Inverness. One particularly memorable day out with Pete at Daviot was a tad icy! Pete was towing Erin in her chariot and I was testing my balance to the max!! I only had a few spills but nothing serious.
I had a range of support at this stage from the NHS including physio’s, the Occupational Health team and my GP if required. I was receiving counselling through my work and went to some sessions with the local charity Headway Highland to speak to other people that had suffered brain injuries which was all really helpful. Through these meetings I met the team at the The Oxygen Works. This is a charity that provides oxygen therapy to people with MS and other conditions including people that have had a brain injury. Essentially oxygen through a mask in a pressurised environment. It enables cells to repair more quickly. I was also getting massage and physio monthly to support the back and body in general to recover from the injuries.
Kirsty and I subsequently separated in October which was totally understandable. We had only been going out for 3 months prior to the accident so to say the circumstances around our relationship had materially changed would be a bit of an understatement! What Kirsty did, and the support she provided Mum when I was in hospital was amazing. I can’t thank her enough and it’s something I’ll never forget.
Through November and December, I had a steady flow of the kids, friends and people popping into the flat from Highlands and Islands Enterprise (HIE). HIE are headquartered in Inverness and I used to work for the organisation in Shetland. Mum had kept in touch with Cathy in HIE and she had passed on news to my former colleagues how I was getting on. I was actually based in the HIE office in Inverness for my job with Scottish Enterprise (SE). Although my salary was paid by SE we could work with companies in the HIE area to access EU funding for renewable research projects. So, although the folk in the office were former colleagues when I worked for HIE in Shetland I saw many of them daily. It was great to see folk and catch up on the latest news. All of this external connection was brilliant as you come to terms with having your job taken away and your life significantly altered. Living on your own makes this challenging too. I think it is fair to say that you don’t realise how important a job is to the purpose and structure of your life until it is removed. And with training being removed due to the accident I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands! The brain can easily think too much and get into automatic negative thought (ANTs) loops. It was becoming increasingly important to have a daily routine. And with short term memory one of the biggest issues with my brain injury, I was relying quite heavily on my diary to organise myself and this continues to this day. My friends have helpfully told me I’m just getting old!!
And in December I had Dad and my nephew staying for a few weeks. Ethan, my nephew, was doing an electrician’s apprenticeship in Shetland (Now qualified). This requires block release to the University of the Highlands and Islands (UHI) headquarters in Inverness from time to time.He had stayed with me prior to the accident so he was down for three weeks and Dad had been sent down to keep me company at the same time (a.k.a keep an eye on Ethan!!) So, in the run up to Christmas I was feeling positive in terms of how the recovery was going. It was great to have company and we all flew back to Shetland for Christmas.
Conclusion of the first few months. Friends and family are so, so, so important in life all the time. But particularly in the hard times. And I’ll say this a lot. My Mum is amazing….truly amazing :)
